Edward Hyde's Disney Special: Part 1
by Quark Quizmo
Summary: Have you ever wondered what would happen if our favorite psychopathic killer, Edward Hyde, had his own Disney Special? Well, here's your chance to find out!


## Mickey Mouse March

**Mouseketeers:**

Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me?

M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!

MICKEY MOUSE!

**Hyde:**

EDWARD HYDE!

**Mickey:**

MICKEY MOUSE!

**Hyde:**

EDWARD HYDE! _Come here you freakin' little rodent!_ *Bam Bam*

_Let's try this again. Here you go kids!_ *shoves papers in their faces* 

**Announcer:**

_And now kids, we are…_ *Hyde gives him an evil look* _HAPPY to_

_present the Edward Hyde March!_

## Edward Hyde March

**Jekkies:**

Edward Hyde Club!

Edward Hyde Club!

Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me?

E-D-W-A-R-D H-Y-D-E!

Hey there! 

Hi there!

Ho there!

You're as welcome as can be!

E-D-W-A-R-D H-Y-D-E!

MICKEY MOUSE!

**Hyde:__**

_That's Edward Hyde you stupid kids! Do I have to sing the freakin' song_

_myself!?_

**Jekkies:**

EDWARD HYDE!

** **

**Hyde:**

_Now that's how I like it!_

**Jekkies:**

Forever let us hold our canes high!

High!

High!

High!

Come along and sing our song and join our jamboree!

E-D-W-A-R-D H-Y-D-E!

**Hyde:**

_It's about freakin' time you showed up!_ *Hyde points his cane at you and waves it in your face*

_I promised wussy boy Jekyll I'd give him his own freakin' part in the show, so lets get this over with. _

_Here's Mamma's boy Jekyll with "Part of Their World"._

**Jekyll:__**

_Thank you very much. I'd-_

**Hyde:**

_Jekyll, just get your freakin' song over with!_

**Part of their World (Part of Your World-Little Mermaid)**

**Jekyll:**

Look at my stuff isn't it neat?

**Hyde:**

_Geez, Jekyll! Is this all you could freakin' come up with?! _

**Jekyll:**

Wouldn't you think my collections complete?

Wouldn't you think I'm the guy,

The guy who has everything.

Look at this room, treasures untold.

How many wonders can one mansion hold?

Lookin' around here you think, sure, he's got everything.

I've got test tubes and top hats, like, twenty.

I've got servants and drugs galore. 

You want HJ7, I've got PLENTY.

But who cares? No big deal.

I want more…

I wanna be where the whores are.

I wanna see, wanna see 'em dancin'. 

Drnkin' one of those, what-d-ya call 'em?

Oh, BEER!

Sittin' at home you don't have much fun.

Bars are required for drinking, fighting.

Strollin' along down to the, what's that place again?

Red Rat!

Down where they think, wait, I mean DRINK!

Down where they stay all night in the pub.

God it sucks to be me, wish I could be, 

Part of their world.

What would I give, if I could live outta this house.

What would I pay, to spend a day in Hyde's shoes.

**Hyde:**

_What the hell do you want with my shoes?!_

**Jekyll:**

Betcha down there, they don't care

If they catch you with your pants down.

But up here they all stare if they do!

I'm ready to know, what Hyde knows.

Ask him my questions and get some answers!

**Hyde:**

_You're not getting anything outta me you frickin' wimp!_

**Jekyll:**

What is vodka? And why does it give, what's the word?

A hangover!

When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love,

Love to explore that pub down the street!

Geez, cant' you see, wish I could be, 

Part of their world!

**Hyde:**

_Enough with the sentimental crap, Jekyll. Get off the stage, you're ruining my special!_

**Jekyll:**

# But Hyde…

**Hyde:**

_Talk to the cane cuz the face ain't listin'._

**Jekyll:**

# Why the hell are you acting like a valley girl?

**Hyde: **

# Did you just say hell?

**Jekyll: **

# Oh my God…

**Hyde: **

We'll take this time to have one of our Jekkies sing a song. It's called "I Wan'na be Like You". Okay, Jekyll, get your butt outta here.

**I Wan'na be Like You (Jungle Book)**

**Jekkie:**

Now I'm the king of the Jekkies the theatre VIP.

I've reached the top and had to stop and that's what's botherin' me.

I wanna be a Hyde, Robert, and stroll right on the stage,

and be just like the other Hydes and be filled with rage!

Oh, Ooh, ooh, oh! *bam bam*

I wanna be like you, ooh, ooh! *bam bam*

I wanna walk like you,

I wanna talk like you, too, ooh, ooh *bam bam*

You'll see its true, ooh, ooh! *bam bam*

A Jekkie like me, ee, ee, *smack smack*

Can learn to be Hy, ii, ii, dish, too, ooh, ooh! *wham wham*

Don't try to kid me, Robert, I want Hyde's spiffy hair-do!

What I desire, is Hyde's hot fire so I can be like you.

Give me your secret, Robert. Just clue me what to do.

Give me the power, and men will cower and make my dream come true!

Oh, Ooh, ooh, oh! *bam bam*

I wanna be like you, ooh, ooh! *bam bam*

I wanna walk like you,

I wanna talk like you, too, ooh, ooh *bam bam*

You'll see its true, ooh, ooh! *bam bam*

A Jekkie like me, ee, ee, *smack smack*

Can learn to be Hy, ii, ii, dish, too, ooh, ooh! and a final *bam bam*

**Hyde:__**

_I like this kid! He's got spunk. Reminds me of…me! God I love my work! _

_Now it's my turn to sing a song._

**You Can Kill! You Can Kill! You Can Kill! (You Can Fly-Peter Pan)**

**Hyde:**

Think of the Bishops you've burned

Lessons in killing you've learned

Think of Teddy down below

Think of govners' in a row!

Think happy thoughts until…

You can kill! You can kill! You can kill!

Soon you'll kill like the best of us

All it takes is greed and lust!

But the thing that's a positive must

Is an element of your disgust.

Disgust is a positive MUST!

When there's hate in your heart

There's no better time to start.

It's a very simple plan

To murder another man;

It gives you such a thrill

You can kill! You can kill! You can kill!

YOU CAN KILL!!

**Hyde**:

_Wasn't that great? Hey, you! What do you mean we have a commercial_

_break? HYDE NO LIKE COMMERCIAL! I'll show you a commercial!_

_Don't you DARE flip that switch!_ *Hyde walks off screen. Muffled yells

and hitting noises are heard. Hyde walks back on screen with a few

splotches of blood on his sleeve and a great big grin* _I'm happy to_

_announce that our program is now commercial free. Now, our favorite_

_Jekkies are gonna sing a song._

** **

**Eddie-the-Hyde (Winnie-the-Pooh)**

**Jekkies:**

Deep in the city of London

Where the snobs and elite all live

You'll find the enchanting neighborhood

Of Jekyll's insane days!

A whore named Lucy is his friend

And Emma his fiancé!

There's Danvers, there's Simon

And there's John, but most of all Eddie-the-Hyde!

Eddie-the-Hyde, Eddie-the-Hyde,

Sexy, horny, devil all filled with rage!

He's Eddie-the-Hyde, Eddie-the-Hyde

Dreamy, creamy, steamy, swell guy!

**Hyde**:__

_Very nice, but, why the hell am I creamy?!_

**Jekkie**:__

_Um, well, we couldn't think of anything else that rhymed with dreamy._

**Hyde**: __

_Fine, I'll let that pass, but what's up with this "swell guy" thing? Where have you been living? PLEASENTVILLE?!_

**Jekkie**: __

_No, sir. Actually, I live in North Dakota._

**Hyde**: __

_North Dakota? Where the hell is that? You made that up._

**Jekkie**: 

*stuttering* _I di-didn't m-m-make it up-p, s-s-sir. I-it's just north of South Dakota._

_ _

**Hyde: **

_All right. Now you're just being cute…and I don't like CUTE!_* gets evil glint in eye*

**Jekkie:**

_Mommy!!_ * quickly runs off screen*

**Hyde: __**

_Now for my special duet with that lovely lady, Lucy._

**Stage Hand:**

*whispers* _Um, sir, we ran out of film._

**Hyde:__**

_You WHAT?!_

**Stage Hand: **

*whispers* _We ran out of film and we can't find Lucy._

**Hyde:**

# What?! Do I have the most incompetent staff in the world?

**Stage Hand:**

*whispers*_ No sir! I mean yes sir. I mean, we're gonna take a little break._

**Hyde: **

# Didn't I already say no commercials?!

**Stage Hand: **

*whispers* _Yes, sir. We're sorry, sir._

**Hyde: **

_Who's to blame for this? Is it you?!_ *points at camera man and raises his

cane to strike. the screen goes black and message comes across the

screen*

** **

**Stay tuned for the second part of our special when our technical difficulties disappear. Which should be soon.**


End file.
